Growing Up

I know it's not Thanksgiving yet but today I was feeling very grateful to God for my life. A few things happened today that made me feel this way. Today was our "sex ed" day. Of course, I was disturbed by a lot of things taught, offended a couple times--but I expected that. But I also felt really thankful that I had grown up in the Church. I actually feel bad for people who are taught lies from media and unfortunately even from health care professionals about what a healthy sex life is. I'm thankful that I was raised in a community that cares about my emotional, psychological and spiritual health and not just about whether or not I get an STD or get pregnant. I am also grateful that I wasn't given "autonomy" to decide for myself. I'm not perfect by any standards but I think that if I was a teenager growing up in a home that thought it was okay to "experiment" and that that was a "normal part of growing up", I would've gotten myself into a lot more trouble, especially spiritually. God has given us rules to protect us from the consequences of sin. We all sin but living a life of sin, being complacent in it, and not repenting is not ok; it only hurts us.

The next thing of course was the complete opposite. Today we had an informal remembrance gathering with John's wife and their kids. I think of her often and my heart really breaks for her. She shared that the first 6 months or so, God had really provided her peace about things and she was managing well but in the last few months, things have been harder. I don't know what I would do if I were in her place but I can't imagine what she's going through. She talked about how she misses being a "med student's wife". That made me feel weird because I am the med student. She's my age and has two kids. I am ....single, childless. haha. I just thought it was interesting because there were a few girls there that were unmarried and here she was, sitting there with her two kids on her lap but saying she feels like she has "no identity" now that John is gone. I've struggled with this before--what does the modern woman want. And really, we want it all. I love med school and medicine and knowing that I will be a M.D. but of course I also want to get married and have kids...and preferably sooner rather than later. And I think that if I had to choose, either get married and have kids or be a doctor....I'd get married and have kids. Because in the end, to me, family is a lot more important than anything. Hmmm...